Year Two. Still Dancing.
/Hello! Gabe here. So today is our second wedding anniversary. Last year I wrote a post on year 1, found here. As it turns out, Mary and I made it through year two alive and kicking - and better for it. Mary has a nice little back-kick she learned at the gym. Watch out, shins! We have been having fun remembering our wedding day. Ironically, it was a day almost exactly like today - beautiful, bright, in the 70's. It was truly a lovely whirlwind of a day, and we had such an amazing time celebrating with our awesome friends. I plan to always keep that day, the people that were there, the people who helped make it happen, close to my heart.
So lately, I've been thinking a lot about marriage. Not only because our anniversary was fast approaching, but also because I find myself at really incredible weddings from time to time.
From what I've read, not everyone thinks marriage is a good thing. Whaaaa???
The great poet Lord Byron wrote that, "Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil." --Hours of Idleness
(Sounds like he had a hellish experience.)
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, "Marriage is like life in this - that is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses." --Virginibus Puerisque
(Sounds like someone had a combative/violent wife...)
Oscar Wilde wrote, "Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed." --A Woman of No Importance
(Sounds like someone lowered their standards...)
Johnny Carson said once, "If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
(Sounds like variety didn't work so well for Johnny in this case...)
You get the idea...it seems many people become jaded after a few years of marriage. It seems like many have either had a bad experience themselves, or witnessed a bad marriage experience.
Which is terribly sad. People can be cruel sometimes - and marriage certainly isn't easy.
Something dawned on me a while back - marriage is kind of like the first dance at a wedding reception. If the couple is anything like Mary & myself, they are excited, nervous, and incredibly happy when they step out on that dance floor at the reception. But that first dance can also be incredibly uncomfortable, confounding, terrifying, ulcer-inducing, and, well, awkward. You're out there all alone, you're sweating, everyone is looking right at you, you're trying not to get dizzy moving around in circles...it's tough for so many reasons.
The first dance at a wedding is, usually, a mind-boggling mixture of sweet sincere joy, and uncomfortable awkward nerves.
I think marriage is a little like that too: Exciting, uncomfortable, joyous, scary.
You just have to choose who you want to dance with and go for it together.
I continue to learn so much from Mary - her grace, her composure, her sense of humor. She continues to surprise and astound and brighten my every day.
Today I can say that, despite working together and seeing each other virtually ALL OF THE TIME, I love Mary more today than I ever have. And I know she feels the same because I've seen it and felt it. Some say that's a miracle - perhaps it is. This year we had adventures, trials, fun, tears...oh and we laughed a whole lot.
So I can't relate to those brilliant men I quoted above. I don't know why their respective relationships didn't pan out, but I know that I feel incredibly blessed that I somehow ended up in an amazing place with an amazing woman.
We try to truly love each other with a love that's bigger than ourselves. We love out of the love we've been shown from our God who loves more than we can ever know (1 John 4:7-14).
At our wedding, two years ago, our dear friends Tiffany, Neil, and Caleb sang & played this beautiful song by Over The Rhine
...and we like it for many reasons, but mainly because it communicates the intentionallity of love. Many days, you choose to love the other - even when you don't feel like it. That's what i've found love is many days - a choice. I am a lucky man, because sweet Mary chose me.
Marriage is a covenant you're living in, you're dancing in, together. I'm a terrible dancer, but Mary doesn't seem to care. And I couldn't imagine dancing with anyone else. Here's to year three.
